I always enjoy comical stories of how people went on first dates with someone they thought they would hit it off with, only to be grossly disappointed when the actual event went down. The first date is a monumental event in the mating game and it's essential to make sure your game is tight so you will prevail at the end. Here are 5 ways to make your date an epic fail. I see and hear about folks doing these things all the time and it baffles me why they don't realize the error on their ways.
1. Catching a Flick
This is the single lamest first date activity ever. Why on Earth would you think that sitting in a dark theater watching a most likely marginal movie that you had to drop damn near $15 a ticket for would be a good move? You're not 15 trying to feel up on Julie from the JV cheerleading squad because your parents are home and you have no car or license and no other chance to get her in a dark place. After 2 hours and $25 or so in the hole (hopefully she doesn't want concessions, and if she does that may be a bad sign since she may have poor dietary habits) you basically have nothing to show for it. You could talk about the movie, but if the movie sucked then your conversation will hit a brick wall and you don't want to dwell on negativity on the first date. The movie is the ultimate wack time filler. On top of that it really exposes your lack of originality and game. Do you really think she's going to find you compelling if you can't even come up with a decent first date idea? The first date is a clue to how you will be in a relationship. Do you think any woman ever goes back to her girls talking about how great her movie date was? Get off that Roger Ebert steeze and step your game up. Being average=death.
2. Showing Up With A Dozen Roses
Showing up with roses is a sucker move. You think you're coming off like a gentleman, but it really makes you look like a simp. I asked a few female associates of mine how they would react or have reacted to a man bringing roses on a first date. Here is a sample of their replies:
"He's trying to f@#$ and coming off way too strong"
"I'd feel a little pressured, like he's putting too much on it"
"He must not have gotten any action lately and is trying too hard to please"
"What a sweet gesture"
"What is he, 13 years old or something?"
Now 4 of those 5 responses are direct evidence that the roses move is a failure, and the one that appears positive potentially puts you in the "nice guy" bracket which usually leads to no action. Showing up with roses shows that you overly eager to please as well as that you're unoriginal. If you're going to be the flower guy, which I don't recommend, at least pick something unconventional or rare that shows your flower game is strong. Once again, roses are an average guy move and average=death. Like 3 Stacks and Big Boi said, "roses really smell like boo-boo."
3. Talking About Your Job Too Much
People go out on dates in order to relax, connect with someone, and have a good time. Some people have trouble letting go of their work once they leave the office, and these people are usually stuck at home by themselves. You may think being a workaholic and who's dedicated to your job is a plus, but that doesn't mean women want to hear about it all through your date. Dates are an escape and talking about your job just takes them back to grind of a 9-5. Unless you have a fly as hell career that is off the hook interesting like rock star, then you might be better off leaving the work conversation to a minimum. You may think your life as a CPA is interesting, or that your tales of how Jim from marketing is always stealing your Vitamin Water from the break room is riveting, but no one else is feelin' it. Keep the TPS report talk at your cubicle and steer the conversation toward more thought provoking and attraction building topics.
4. Bringing Up Past Relationship Failures
Once again, steer away from negative talk. If you sit there talking about your past failures it makes it seem like you're wrapped up in the past and imprints her mind that she too will possibly be one of those relationship failures. If you start talking about your past relationship failures, then she's liable to do the same. When you get a girl talking about her past relationship failures then you're running the risk of instantly turning into one of her girls. Do you really want to hear her cackling about how Andre cheated on her with her co-worker, or how Mark spent too much time with his friends and never gave her quality time? Of course you don't. You're trying to highlight how fly it is to roll with you, not to let her be a shoulder for you to cry on about her own past failures. If you have game then you leave them better than when you got with them and you won't have any past failures to discuss anyway.
5. Not Getting Physical
Now when I say physical I don't mean that you're trying to cop a feel after she laughs at a couple of your jokes. What I mean is that you need to physically touch her and establish her being comfortable with you touching her. Now to do this, you don't have to be vulgar or put too much on it. Getting physical can mean touching her arm while you're both laughing at the hilarious joke you told, grabbing her waist as you hold open the door for her and move throughout the venue, wiping the corner of her mouth at dinner, etc. All these subtle touches subconsciously establish a comfort level that she must reach with you before you're ever going to get to anywhere. Whether you're trying to seal the deal on the first date or not, if you're not touching her throughout that first date the love train is probably going to leave you standing next to the tracks. Many guys make the mistake of trying to be too gentlemanly on the first date and don't touch as if the woman's Mom is chaperoning or something.
Don't be average and don't pull any of the above moves on a first date.
The world is yours.....
Outkast - "Roses"
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