Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Should You Allow A Woman To Make You Wait 90 Days?





I was perusing my Google reader and stumbled upon this article advising women to wait 90 days before having sex with a man, and that somehow the "good" men will wait.  I've heard other folks such as Steve Harvey advise women to follow this rule as well.  I feel that was a Man Code Violation on Mr. Harvey's part for advising women to do that, but I understand he's a hustler and he was catering to the demographic that was going to bring checks in. It sounds good and it gives women some sense of empowerment to withhold the goods from a man, but I'm vehemently opposed to this whole policy and line of thinking.  Let me break down why a man whould never engage in this type of situation, and why the rule is inherently flawed.

A Man with Game Determines The Rules

A man with Game will never fall into a trap where the rules of the game are determined by the woman. The minute you walk into a situation where you let a woman control what's going down and when it's going down, you've already ceded power to her and let her know that you're not in control.  How is she going to respect you if she knows you're sitting around putting X's on a calendar leading up to that oh so glorious day when you finally get the privelage of having sex with wonderful old her?  What part of the game is that?  A man that allows himself to be put in that position is revealing his low worth and the woman knows this.  Women desire men that other women desire, and if you're willing to take yourself off the market for 90 days while she deems if you're not worthy enough, then obviously you're not that hot on the open market. Guys that suffer from oneitis will fall into this trap easily.


This Rule Uses An Arbitrary Time Period That Has No Basis In Rationality

What is so magical about 90 days?  It's a made up period and there is no reason for it.  It sounds good and it gives women some false sense of security that if a man is willing to wait 90 days then he is somehow more honorable or respectable than a man who won't.  What makes a woman think that she can even truly know a man after 90 days?  And what happens if after 90 days you have sex with a man and within a few months things go sour?  What if you wait 90 days and there's no sexual compatibility? Was the relationship somehow more pure because you waited 90 days?  No, it was just another short term relationship, except you spent 90 days with your clothes on instead of 150 without them. Keeping it real is the way to go, and hanging onto a false sex of security by witholding sex just leaves you delusional and sexually frustrated.


The 90 Day Rule Commodifies Sex

Waiting 90 days for sex leads credence to the belief that somehow sex is some type of commodity in the relationship marketplace.  If you meet a woman and have a great time, the chemistry is amazing, you're both sexually attracted to each other, and you don't have any STDs, why on Earth would you wait 90 days?  Right when you put a waiting period on sex you're turning sex into something that is to be traded and valued like a commodity.  Women worry about men only trying to get with them for sex, and it's true some men are only out for that, but many other men want a great relationship as well.  If a woman is sitting around and holding sex hostage, then it shows that she is more worried about sex than actually catering to your needs and connecting with you.  It's as if women think we have to show our worth in order to have sex with them.  A man with Game sees it the other way and evaluates women to see if they're worthy of having sex with him.  By withholding sex a woman is basically telling you that she deems having sex with you to be of less value than you having sex with her.  Once again, that automatically puts her in the drivers seat and if you're a man with Game that isn't acceptable.


Life is Short

In the times we live in the world is rapidly changing before our eyes.  90 days is a long time for you to put your life on hold while a woman waits to deem if you're a good man.  Think of all the other women you could possibly be meeting in that 90 day period who might be more desirable than the one who's put you on the waiting list?  The woman of your dreams could walk right by you, but you'll miss out because you're holding onto a dream that this one girl is so spectacular that the 90 day wait will be worth it. 


There are several other reasons why the 90 Day Rule is a fail, but I'll end things for now and touch on this topic at a later time.  So fellas, if a woman tries to spring the old 90 Day Rule on you, then do the smart thing and keep it moving.  If you feel the woman is worth waiting the 90 days for, then proceed at your own risk. She might be the flyest woman on the market and in the end you'll win.  Every man has to make decisions that suit him best, but before you do proceed, think about all the reasons why shouldn't entertain the thought of falling into the 90 day matrix.

The world is yours.....

Janet Jackson- "Let's Wait Awhile"


Facebook
Twitter

1 comment:

Unknown said...

I have very few girl-friends that have ever committed to the 90day commitment.